Bear Leader Pretend

Now that the exuberance has died down a touch and focus has turned to opening day, the playoff bound Blackhawks, the playoff bound Bulls, and Korean rockets, it's time to inject some reason into the state's bloodstream.

Jay Cutler is not it. I repeat, "Jay Cutler is not it." He's saying all the right stuff right now, but the 25-year old snot who once stated, "I have a stronger arm than John Elway, hands down. I'll bet on it against anybody's in the league. Brett Favre's got a cannon. But on game days, there's nobody in the league who's going to throw it harder than I am at all" will be run out of town by 2011.

If he were it, he'd be it. But he's not it.

Here's what we can look forward to in 2009:

- After being sacked 5 times in Game 3 against the Vikings, Cutler will quip, "If you got 9 guys doing their jobs and 2 half-assing it, those 2 undo everything the other 9 did. It's time some people look in the mirror." The Bears are 1-2
- The Monday after Game 3, Cutler finds a fresh dump in his locker.
- Cutler throws 3 interceptions in Game 7, but Hester returns 2 kick-offs for TDs against the Falcons for the win. Cutler quips, "I can't understand why our receivers can't bring those balls down. If it's good enough to tip to the other guy, why isn't it good enough to catch?" The Bears are 4-3.
- Down 10-0 in Game 11 against the Packers, Cutler throws sideline tantrum after Lovie calls for a Jason McKie run on 3rd and 8 goes for -1 yards. Cutler gets yanked for Grossman who trips over the 40 yard line, tears his ACL and is done for the season. The Bears are 6-5.
- Bears lose Game 14 against the Lions. Cutler is quoted as saying, "It's still in our hands." The Bears are 7-7.
- In week 16 the Bears lose an 11 point lead against the Cowboys with 7 minutes remaining to be eliminated from the playoffs. Nathan Vasher gets deked by slot receiver Patrick Crayton to lose the game prompting a tongue lashing from Cutler. Olin Kreutz intervenes by breaking Cutler's jaw with the Dial-a-down. The Bears finish the season at 8-8.

Enjoy the ride Chicago suckers. You heard it here first. And that's the word of Sand.