Chicago sports teams have enjoyed a grand legacy of picking up scraps and cast-offs from other teams and trying to fit these square pegs into round holes. Today we present the Chicago scrap-heap pageant:
The Bears:
Second runner up: Edgar Bennett - former packer featured back gains 611 yards
First runner up: Steve Walsh - actually took a team of pretenders to a wild card game victory
Champion: Rick Mirer - From Notre Dame to Seattle to Chicago to MetLife, Rick we hardly new ye
The Hawks:
Second runner up: Michel Goulet - the former Nordiques looked lost trying to keep up with Larmer and Roenick
First runner up: Bobo Probert - Detroit's greatest brawler got off the coke and on the booze and forgot how to fight
Champion: Theo Fleury - Is anyone surprised no one is asking the former Flame turned Hawk for his bourbon fueled analysis on the playoff series between the only two teams he served
The Sox:
Second runner up: Albert (Joey) Belle - STAY OFF MY LAWN!
First runner up: Javier Vazquez - No guts in the clutch
Champion: Jaime Navarro - 25 wins and 43 losses over 3 seasons
The Cubs:
Second runners up: You pick the broken down releiver - Mike Scott, Mel Rojas, Goose Gossage, Dave Smith, Dan Plesac, Antonio Alfonseca. Why?
First runner up: Jeff Blauser - yeah I know, but look it up
And now we have the latest champion for the city to crown. Milton Bradley presents, "The Milton Bradley Game!" How many rolls of the dice before Milton is sidelined by a hangnail! Spin the wheel to see how many at bats he'll go between hits! Take a chance and draw a meltdown card!
We've seen this game before and it always ends the same. Chicago teams can not sign a free agent to success. Randy Moss or Kurt Warner? Pass. But Dave Krieg is available? COME ON DOWN!
Milton has another 5 weeks before he goes on the 60 day DL and that's the beginning of the end. And that's the word of sand.
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