Some stuff can’t be taken back: Roberto Alomar spitting in Mark Hirshbeck’s face? That can never be taken back. Jack Tatum’s hit on Darryl Stingley that left Stingley paralyzed? That’s permanent too. Mark Chmura’s sexual assault of a 17-year old, Kermit Washington’s punch that almost killed Rudy Tomjanovich, Zinedine Zidane’s headbutt of Materazzi in the World Cup? All disgraceful events etched in the granite that is sports history.
And now there’s Alex Burrows, the Vancouver Canuck’s Winger. The 27-year old winger with the 26 goals will not live in the violent infamy of the aforementioned hooligans. Instead Burrows will forever be remembered as, “that hair-pulling bitch from Canada.” In Sunday’s 4-0 loss to Vancouver, the Blackhawks reverted to the Mike Keenan tactics of taking a moral victory out of an ass-kicking by running the Vancouver netminder and setting of three separate skirmishes. Ben Eager and Kevin Bieksa supplied the main event while Duncan Keith/Burrows supplied the undercard. Long story short: Keith - who is a stand-up guy, but no brawler - did his job and wrapped up his man - standard fare for the non-goons. Rather than ride out brawl and wait for order to be restored, Burrows repeatedly pulled Keith’s hair as he tried to recover. In hockey fighting, just about anything is acceptable outside of stabbing your opponent with the skate (yeah, I'm talking about you Clint Malarchuk) and hair pulling. Hair pulling - in actuality - is about as acceptable as Travis Green's post-goal kiss planted on Ziggy Palffy's mouth. Oh to be young and sexually enlightened in Long Island in the 90s.
Keith put it best: “That's not something I've ever had happen to me," Keith said. "My little sister never even pulled my hair when I was a kid. It's kind of comical when you have a grown man trying to pull your hair on the ice." Comical and pathetic.
Welcome to the land of bitches Mr. Alex Burrows. And that’s the Word of Sand.
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